While I understand the undoubted PTSD you sustain (like my Dad), it also should put into sharp focus the question about "is this all really necessary?" Why was America there? Why was America in Afghanistan? Vietnam? Korea? Maybe ancient history, but the same outcome - America didn't get what it came for. So why? Could it have something to do with not being welcome there or colonial over-reach or fiscal interests?

Whatever, I am so sorry to hear you have suffered and continue to do so. I understand how debilitating it is - moods, nightmares, flashes, even fear (though Dad never showed that). Best wishes for you to find peace.